dirty_fellow_jacob

So fast another weeked is coming, and this coming weekend cg will be very different for me because our cg have multiply into already so i would not see my beloved Dada, Aloy, joyce, bernard, paul, gary, jenn hau, rachel and….all my little angels. haha but i still have the pharmacy angels with me, they are the most beautiful creation that God have put in my life. so cant wait to see them in cg.

This week i was not feeling well maybe because of dada la, she must be kissed me when i was asleep thats why i got all the virus from her….dirty fellow!

This week i got a new CD, "Savior King" from Hillsongs and a book "Prayer" by Philip Yancey. hope i can finish reading the book during reading week  (20-24/8), while im in jb.

Today during  Christian Education class Herbert Tan show us a video, is about Howard Hendricks’ sharing in a leadership conference. wow is was wonderful and i really learn some things from him. how i wish we always have some one like him to preach in the church. one thing i remember very clearly is "The rise and fall of a church depend on the quality of the leader." so if we fail to produce more quality leaders in church then the church will slowly die off.

AUGUST will be a very busy month for me because  i got my beauty fair coming up, church camp, lots of assignments and i am preaching on 25th August. But i believe i can over come all these things by the grace of God!

bless you1   

Now is not a good time to blog (4am), i should be sleeping but i can’t, maybe because too excited about CG sport day (8am). Normally after friday CG i will very very tired because i need to share the word of God out of my heart and soul, but now when i closed my eyes i will see the faces of my CG members (they look like angels to me, even when some behave like a devil…hehe).

Today(Friday) CG was one of the very excited and powerful meeting. At 7:35pm few of our CG gathered to pray for the CG and our handsome Gary leaded us into the time of worship. Wow the presence of God is really awesome and i can feel the  atmosphere was really lifted up when all of us worship God with a correct attitude. latter Sharob leaded us to play a very funny Ice-breaker (tupai dan pokok), everyone enjoy so much. Next we have our handsome Gary leaded us into the time of worship. I saw tears began to falls and people hearts began to open for God. The worship is so amazing. And today i shared on the topic "releasing the glory in you". We really need to increase our value, not to be a liability to others but be an asset for the society, be some one wherever you go people will enjoy your presence there because you carry blessing to them. Every have different gifts, some have the gift in creative arts like music, dance, painting… some have the gift in computer, cooking, study and lots more. But what i want to encourage all of us to do is to maximize our gifts, increase the value inside you. Thomas Edison say "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% of hard work". So hard work bring results. Dont be lazy. Let your value (Glory) increase not decrease.

After the CG we went for "makan" because Yap was tired so we went back to "Aloy’s house" first and i asked her how many people attended the CG just now, she gave me a "shock" answer, "35" (including 6 visitors, we welcome you all, hope you all like it). We count people because people are important to us. I always having problem to remember people name (need to improve in this area), is getting harder and harder for me to taking care the whole CG, because it is too big. i can not sit down to talk to every members every week. if one person took me one hour it will be about 30 hours but i dont have 30 hours to spend in Cheras, unless i dont sleep during Friday night and Saturday night then i might able to catch up with all CG members (so if you find that recently i didnt spend much time to talk to you, please dont think that i dont love you any more, i still love you). But the CG is still growing and i dont want it to stop. so now i need to make a very difficult choice, to separate the CG into 2, it is a happy and sad decision. happy because we are growing, sad because i cant see some of the members on Friday. But believe me i will still be very happy to listen and to help you to grow even you are not under my CG (so dada pls understand that i really love you all but i can not separate my self into 2).

Long time didnt blog ready. so this morning i was thinking what should i blog? i dont want to blog some things that discourage people and some things not true from my heart. hope what ever i blod here can help and encourage you.

i always have a mindset and attitude is to be a hero that will save everyone. i always believe that i can do ALL things and i will keep myself so busy till i dont have time to go dating with Yap (but she is good and very consideration towards me, thanks yap). some time she will teasing me by telling my youth is they dont want to go movie or shopping i will not bring her because i will go movie or shopping with her when my youth wanted to go. haha. she really been good to me. i always wanted to spend all of my time with my youth in order to know them more and build up the relationship with them because i really love them (not only those i knew for long time, but all who attended the cg and church before, if you have ever attend my cg and church before, i want to tell you, i really love you). i want to help them to solve all their problem, if i can not solve it for them i would like to walk with them  and face the problems togather. i always like to involve in all church’s activity and help up, and this make me dont have time for myself too. i always think that all church work is my responsible (i think this is commitment), but i began to realise i can not do all thing, i can not save everyone, im not a superman, im not Jesus!

so next month UCSI cg is going to multiply into 2 groups (thanks God for His mercy and grace for us, we start from 5/1/07 14 person till now having 27 regular attender). at first i was worry and not willing to separate, because scare that after multipy some of the youth will not come for cg any more and their fire for God will cold down, worry about this and that…. (i must confess that im too proud of myself, thinking that only me can help them, im sorry God it is You not me). i always want to save everyone, but now i really need to depend on God to save everyone, because i really have a limit, i can not do all things. im just a human being, but it doesnt meaning i will give up every thing, its just that i have learn to do my best and trust God will do the rest. so the cg members who are not under me please help and assist your leader to grow the cg and dont let the fire grow cold and keep making cg a place where people feel most welcome. remember what we have disscuss before "how to make a church close down?" and those who are so not lucky one, still in the same cg with me, please work togather with me to expand the Kingdom of God in Pharmacy, in UCSI. lets carry His presence into UCSI and show them the love of God.

we will speak the language  of  "Faith, Hope and Love", to connect people to people, connect people to purpose and connect people to God.

bWhat do i want in my  life? Recently i been lost in my lives, lost my passion in church, in God, in businesses, in every thing… i have lost the vision that God has for me when i decide to come into full time ministry. my heart grow cold. Why? That are lots of reason for it and i have no intention to share.

Last Sunday, we having prayer meeting in church at 10am, but i wake up at 8am(thanks to Rod, because i need to fecth him to Anglican church, dont get the wrong meaning, im not complain), and i spend about 1 hour to prepare for the prayer meeting. I felt i wanna to share something to encourage those who coming. And i also been encourage after the prayer meeting, and i have a new goal and vision for the church now. "100 people at the end of this year"!

I hope what i am going to share can also encourage you…

Gen 13:14-18  "…All the land that you see I will give to you…" verse 14-15 show us if we can see what we want in our heart and spirit, God will give it to us(but must be some thing reasonable and right). We must have desire, dream and plan in lives, if not we will be living without a purpose and wasting time on earth. verse 17 tell us we must "walk/work" according to the plan, dream and desire. we need to work hard in order that dream can come true. That is a saying "God only help those who help themselves", if true, the bile show us lazzy people would not success. verse 18, we must let God involve in our plan and dream. we can not work things out with our own wisdom and strength, God need to reign in our career, relationship, ministry and study.

Acts 1:8 "…recived power and be my witness in Jerusalem…" God has gives us power to be His witness in every where, in our office, class room and family. He give us the power to be excel in where He place us and we will live to glorify Him. Deuteronomy 8:18 "He who gives you power to get wealth" this verse always remind me that God is the one who help me in every area of my lives, in business, family, ministry …. we need to learn to give credits to God, dont always think that it is we who did it, but give praises to God, for without Him we are nothing. Phil 4:13 "i can do all thing through Christ who give me strength." it is Christ who gives us the strength to finish our job, so with Him all things are posible.

So what you want to achieve or see in your lives? Can you imaging because of you the whole office or class room become a place for Cell Group? So be excel in your career and study, so that the world will know that your God is strong and powerful, for He is the one who gives you strength to excel.

i want to thank God for His great mercy and help for my wedding fair during 25-27 May. without God’s blessing it will be impossible for me to organize the biggest wedding fair in JB. this year wedding fair can be consider the best i have ever organize, even most of the time i was away from JB. this year i have 240 couples to sign up wedding package in my wedding fair, it break the past year record, normally i can only get 180 - 200 couples. this year have been very challeging for me because before my fair there were already 5 wedding fair have been organized. i thank God that He have bless me with a successful event.

i just came back from mission trip yesterday, very tired but was a very good experience. we went in to the orang asli kampong to build a baptism pool for a brother who are hadical and he have a 7 years old son. im so touch by the son because he willing to stay back for the father and taking care the father. i feel sad when i saw how simple and small is the orang asli house. their lives is so simple and easy, compare to the lives in the city, i wonder do we really need so many things in lives? so i have learn that we need to live in simplicity.

on sunday i went for 2 orang asli church, they dont have any high tech musical instrument yet they can still worship God, and i can feel the presence of God too. they run the service very unprossional but God is there. so i began to reflect about my ministry in church.

i really been bless by this mission trip. i will try to arrage to go 1 more time…..so are you ready to go with me??

Im going to mission trip today (18-22/5/07). i have never been to mission trip before so dont know what will i do, but im happy and excited because going with my STM friends (ruth, daniel, rod and….). im worry about them because we need to carry lots of staff and walk for 3 hours++ to reach the destination. i think i need to slow down to wait for them or i go in first put my staff and come out to help them…hehehe.

after the mission trip im going backk to jb for about 1 week ++ because of my "wedding fair". so i wouldnt be in KL for about 2 weeks and i really miss the church, my lovely cg members and unlovely cg members (aloy & dada).

so do pray for my mission trip(pray that i can come back on time as well, no rain) and my event in jb. i really need God’s strength to help me to finish my job.

love you…

The Lord have given us 2 great commandments =  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. 2nd , is Love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:29 -31). last friday cg i share with my precious members (only 6 turn up, but was really good and enjoy cg) abt this verse as well. i share with them about how God want us to honor our "parents" = natural parents, people who are older than us, city fathers (goverments), and spiritual parents. #if you have miss the last friday cg, you still have a chance to hear this sermon on 2/6, because i will be preaching this topic in service, hehe.#

i want to share how i love my cg members. every time before i leave Cheras, my cg members sure very "perasan" saying "dont miss me ah", but everyday i miss them so much. The feeling is like i just fall in love with yap 6 years + ago, miss all my cg members, wish to see them everyday, every moments. i always want to belanja them makan, because i always want to express my "love" for them through giving or whatever i can do for them. i enjoy myself so much by spending time with them "pillow talk" and understand their problem and past. i even hope that i am UCSI students so that i can see them everyday (but i think they are scare to see me everyday, cos i will always ask them go makan).

i always treat them better than my own brother and sister and i hope this will not scare them away, because people will think that i have a hidden motive. i want to know thier firends as well (so that i will become a big brother to their friends as well), to involve in their lives and be with them whenever they need help.

i love aloysious because he is so funny and creative, so obedience to dada. i love dada because she is like a mum to us and care for us, i like the way she nagging. i love kelvin because he is good in Dota and pool, and he is willing to share with me about his life. i love wilfred because he is so helpful and obedience, and he is so hunger to learn more about God. i love Rachel because she is so sensitive to others and she concern about others. i love Christina because she is willing to help others and fervent in prayer. i love Sabrina because she is ever ready to do any thing that i assignt for her and her hunger to serve and passion for God is so real. i love Sharon because every thing she will say "cool" and her love for others, really touch me, and she can sing very well. i love Sara because she belive in God and she is willing to let God change her lives. i love Paul because he is so true in his spiritual walk with God and he is humble. i love Bernard he is helpful, humble and he is so handsome and mature, and he is good at IT, which i totally dont know. i love siew ching because she is so gentle and want to know God more and she is so lovely. i love Jenn Hau because he is gentle and he have graet atitude toward church. i love siao yong because she is pretty and funny and she is very kind to everyone. i love christine because she is smart and willing to help me when i ask her for help. i love belinda because she have a Bata shop…hehe, she work very hard for her studies(dont give up,God is with you). i love jasmine because she have faith in God and she want to see people get save. i love sharon (muar), she is willing to travel and help me to takinng care of michelle tay, she is so humble, we are good friend. ilove michelle tay because she like lee hom, and i wacthing her grow from 10 years olds, just like my little sister. i love Rod because he is funny, creative and he is passionate for God. finally i love Yap, because she is my "paopei" and she support me and understand me in my ministry and willing to make changes in order to help me.

i love you all……cant  wiat to see you all.

This weekend is Mother’s Day, so lot of people will not be around. So this weekend service sure will leave few people only. As a church leader how should we face this kind thing happen? what kind of ATTITUDE we should have when members telling you they can not come church because of Mother’s day, Father’s day, parents birthday, friends birthday, who and who aniversary, friends wedding…. As a leader we encourage people to spend time with their parents and honor parents as it is the 5th commanments from God. i love to spend time with my parents too and wish i can go back jb but can i?

im not angry with people who are not coming to church, but just feel lost and discourage when i can imagine that on Saturday will have only few people in church. i always like to work as a team. when  i work hard for something and feel tired, but when i know that the rest of the team members are working hard too i will be encourage even motivated to work harder. but when you know that you are working alone, the more you work the more you feel tired and wanted to give up. i have enough of this type of team members in my life… how can we go and win the battle when everyone is worry that wheter the team members are around or not?

i always believe church leader should be a good example for the memebers to follow but i feel that even how hard i have put in the effort also no use. because our heart are not unite for the same goal. when a football team having the same goal to win the game, they will put aside personal needs and work as a team to win the game. will christiano ronaldo (Man U player) tell Alex Ferguson this weekend he can not play because he need to go back to his country celebrate Mother’s Day?

i just dont know what kind attitude i should have(im not angry but lost). thats why i still learning to be a leader.

…church leader…

(i dont like to blog because i will share what is inside my heart and afraid that it will hurt some people even when im not intention to do it, so if you been hurt or angry by my sharing, pls forgive me.)

This Saturday when i was going to church, the feeling and attitude for me to go church is so much different. i used to be so passionate for going to church but this week is like going for the sake of going, like a habit. i know it is wrong to having this kind of attitude and feeling but i just can’t help. at night i talk to one of my very close friends, melissa about it.

i hope GEPC will not be like others church that people will go on Sunday for the fellowship only. but church is a place for us to worship God and bringing new friends for God to touch them and heal their broken heart.