A week of fear and faithlessness
"I can do all things through Him who give me strength." Philippians 4:13
i always believe that is nothing under the sun that is too difficult for me to accomplish! i always believe i am smart, hard working and positive, so i will always be on the top of the mountain. so many things i have did is what other people can not do. i always excel in church work, market and in every things i do.
But this week is one of the most difficult week for me, i cant even sleep and eat properly. My emotion go low like in the deep valley, my heart is filled with fear. some days i felt so hard to breathe, feeling like heart attack. im facing the greatest challege in my life, things are not going well with me. i really feel strengthless.
Even im in deep trouble but i still believe God is in control and He is willing to save and help me to go through everythings. So many times i have preached and shared with my church members, God is able to help us and deliver us, but now i really need to trust God and believe what i have preached and shared.
Through out this week i been praying for God’s mercy and peace and i have learn a few very important lessons.
1st. God want me to depend on Him not on my own strength and cleaverness. so many times i can do things without people or even God’s help and yet i did it so well. i have develop my self confidence rather than trust in God. He need to use this time to bring me back to Him, in order that i will depend on Him rather than myself. "Not by mind, not by power but by My Spirit says the Lord!"
2nd God have remind me in every thing that i do i should pray and let Him involve in it. i began to reliaze that i didnt pray very often and when ever i face any problem i will first turn to people and ask for help not turn to Him. some time bad thing can happen because the devil try to destroy us, so we need God to bless and protect us and the things we do. i need to pray more often and ask Him to bless and advice me in all the things i do.
3rd God is using this week to shape my attitude. when things are happening this week, my heart was filled with angry and bitterness, i feel like want to throw a bomb to the people who let me down. i must confess deep inside my heart i really feel like going to curse them infront of thier face. God have to used this incident to teach me how to forgive and love (even now im still very angry with them).
This week indeep is a very stressful week for me, but whenever i pray to God ask for peace, He have never fail me. He need to uses the impossible to stretch my faith and want me to trust in His soreignty and promises.
"Lord, let my hope and my help come from You. let me know that You are faithful even when i am not. Thank You for teaching me so many things this week. Lord, i believe You are God and You are in control, help my unbelief. Lord you are good and forever You are faithful and mighty. Thank you for saving me and teaching me. Love You Jesus."
September 6th, 2007 at 7:41 am
My former cell group leader, we will always be here for u as well. Ur church is committed to u and love u dearly. Be yourself and trust in God. He is showing who He is in your life. It’s not about who we are or what we have done but because of who He is. =)
Please take care. We will always support u in prayer.
September 6th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
I remember a friend telling me this when i was struggling myself..Jesus is the vine and we are the branches..sometimes we think that we can do things ourselves and it turns out fine even without His help. But the truth is the branches cannot live without the vine, apart from the vine, the branch will die. God prunes us from time to time, and cuts off certain parts of our branch, so that we’ll grow. Painful as it might be, stay in the Vine and you will flourish! GAMBATE! ^_^ I can see you as a branch that bears many flowers and fruits! Definitely!!!